For a long time, autism was understood through a very narrow lens — usually based on research conducted with young boys, with presentations that were easy to spot and hard to miss. That understanding left out a lot of people.
It left out women, girls, and non-binary people who had learned to mask their differences. It left out people whose intelligence or verbal ability meant they “compensated.” It left out people who didn’t connect with the stereotypes they’d seen in the media. And it left out everyone who grew up before autism was well understood at all.
Many of those people are now adults — some newly diagnosed, some still seeking answers, some who diagnosed themselves after recognising their experience in something they read. All of them had the same confusing, sometimes overwhelming experience of having a major piece of who they are fall suddenly into place.
What we’re here for
Not What We Thought exists to help adults make sense of a late autism diagnosis — and everything that comes with it.
- Information — clear, evidence-informed explanations of what autism actually is, how it presents in adults, and why it looks different in different people
- Advice and guidance — practical help for real situations: the diagnostic process, telling your employer, navigating relationships, managing sensory overwhelm, understanding burnout
- Community — a place where your experience is recognised, and where you don’t have to spend energy explaining yourself
We are not a clinical resource and we don’t provide diagnosis or therapy. But we do believe that good information, honest conversation, and genuine community can change how someone experiences their own life.